Thursday, February 26, 2009
Five things not to send to agents
1. Ostrich feathers
I could see these being relevant if the writer was pitching, say, a book about seventy different things that could be made from ostrich feathers. But under any other circumstances, what’s the agent going to do with the feathers?
An exotic dance, maybe?
Lynn Price of Behler Publications has a story about a writer who included a stamped, empty coconut as a return envelope.
He even included a baggie to protect my letter. Sadly, the poor coconut held a rejection letter. If only his writing had been as clever as his choice of envelopes.
The phrase “the poor coconut” always makes me giggle.
Nothing with glitter! I can't tell you how humiliating it is to show up at a business lunch and discover you have glitter on your blouse.
Hopefully if that happened, all you’d to do is mention that you were going through the slush pile and the editors would understand.
Some people try cold hard cash and some use gift cards. Neither one works, which is good – who’d want an agent who could be bribed?
And, lastly, do not send lingerie with your query letter. Just don't. Not ever. Even pretty lingerie.
I was just thinking, the lingerie probably wasn’t even in the agent’s size.
Then I realized just how creepy it would be if the lingerie was.
Either way, bad idea.