Thursday, January 9, 2014
Yesterday my friend Godfrey arrived with a large parcel, which he said was a Christmas present for me. You know, to make up for the large, beautiful, handmade, solid wood bookcase that wouldn’t fit down the steps.
"Wow, Godfrey," I said, "all your gifts make me look so tiny in the pictures."
Godfrey said he was not even going to dignify that with an answer.
The gift turned out to be a lovely, full-size bat'leth.
Whoa, Marian, watch out for the lights.
It’s all right, because there... are... four... lights!
Today is a good day to die!
I ran to the kitchen to show my landlady, who’s also Godfrey’s mother, my awesome Christmas present. Not being a Star Trek fan, she turned from the stove and got quite the, er, surprise.
“Why did Godfrey give you that?” she said.
“Because he’s a wonderful person.” I struck a dramatic pose with my new bat’leth. “Don’t you think so?”
“Well, of course, but… why did Godfrey give you that? What are you going to do with it?”
“Hang it on the wall. And then if anyone breaks into the house, I can go all Klingon on their ass.”
Needless to say, that didn’t help. I think she might actually prefer the bookcase.